I’m having a really hard time being at home with my daughter . I’m feel touched out and frustrated as fuck

Background story: pretty much since January 2019 until now I’ve been in the house. Pregnant, and then solely taking care of my kid the first year of her life. I have a job and the first few weeks were nice because during training that was the ONLY time I was able to get some seperation, smoke a blunt, do whatever Is when I was traveling back and forth from work. But now everything is remote.

My grandma (conservative, religious, Muslim, ‘strict’) watches her while I work but won’t watch her during the weekends. Which I understand, but she’s the only support I have in this state until I move...

I’m 22. Zero social life. Even when I was growing up with her she’s ruined plenty of my friendships with her being strict and petty. Plus I’m not even the type of person to go out all the time, but damn I can’t have company, can’t even step outside and smoke a blunt in the car or have some type of human connection with someone my own age. Like it’s embarrassing having to explain that I can’t even step out the house and sit in the car and chill, or go to the bar or just in general break away for AT LEAST an hour or two. I feel so trapped.

I’m trying to save so I can get my own car and move since I’ll be in Virginia which is a very rural area & want to depend on my mom(who I’ll be living with there until I find my own place) as less as possible. But this weekend it’s just taking a toll on me more than usual because I don’t even feel like hanging out with my kid. I feel touched out and just don’t want her around me rn . Please tell me someone has been though similar feelings??