This older boy, who used to live around where I went usually to play, when I(M30) was 8-9 yrs old. He was cool, showed us cool things, some time treat me with chocolates. He's family was related to ours so i hung out there. One day, he bulies me, lifts me and takes me to his house and tries to have sex. He couldn't get hard, so there was no penetration probably, then he asked me to do it to him, ofcourse i couldn't. I remember being afraid, thinking if he's gonna let me go or do something worse. It happened only once, and then i sort of forgot about it. But i think every time someone bullied me i. Future, i felt the same way as I did back then. I'd either get too agressive, or freeze, i think that's how I became passive-agressive. I forgot about this incident, like it was there but it never came to my mind. I recollected it while watching a movie, that had scene of child abuse, when I was 24 years old. Few years after realising it were worse. Been trying to cope since. I haven't told anyone, other than few strangers. Thankyou for reading.