The following is an excerpt from the sports section of Pacific Voice

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Average AB's scrape past Scotland in the first international of the Rugby Window

It wasn't a display to be proud of for the All Blacks last night - edging past an energetic Scotland team 10-8 in a gritty affair at Forsyth Bar Stadium. The All Black's went down early, surrendering an 8-0 lead to the tourists after 5 minutes, with Sione Tuipolotu finishing off a well-executed set piece in the corner, but the resulting conversion bounced write off the posts leaving it at 5-0 after the 3rd minute. A quick breakaway off the kickoff lead to a penalty being given away and young Adam Hastings stepped up to slot away the penalty.

The following 72 minutes of rugby could best be summed up as proper southern footy, with the battle in the forwards dominating the clash. Mistake after mistake let Scotland off the hook, however, a late Dane Coles intercept in the 70th minute gave the All Blacks a glimmer of hope going into the final 10 minutes, only 8-5 down. With 20 seconds to go, and one last opportunity to score, the All Black's put it into touch. Patrick Tuipolotu snagged the ensuing lineout, and the All Blacks packed down the maul, driving over for the try - and the win. Dane Coles, stepped out of mess of bodies to claim his double on the day - and the man of the match award.

The biggest takeaway it would seem - is that this Scotland team has come here to play - and if the Ab's backline doesn't get into shape fast, we may see a few surprise results.

Final Score

All Blacks - 10 (Tries: Dane Coles 2x)

Scotland - 8 (Tries: Sione Tuipolotu Penalties: Adam Hastings)

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In other news - Super Rugby Global is set to kick off this weekend, with a variety of teams from Australia, New Zealand and the rest of the world coming together to contest the Ligma Shield.

Teams

NZ Conference

North Shore Blobcats

Taumata Big Knees

Ōtautahi Spreadsheet Fuckers

Gloriavale Penetrators

Bar 101 Cruisers

Remuera White Girls

Australian Conference

Adelaide Rams

Brisbane Bogans

Newcastle Knights

Brisbane Reds

Rest of the World

Exeter Chiefs

Labasa Cane Cutters

Ljouwert Femke Team

Port Adelaide Shriekers

Johannesburg Apartheid

Jacksonville Jim Crow

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It certainly is an open bracket, with the favourites seeming to be the Remuera White Girls, who have a sizeable transfer budget as a result of daddys money. The dark horse in the competition ironically is the Johannesburg Apartheid, allegedly all their players are juiced to the gills - with one inside source saying - "PED's, LED's, STD's, you name it - they're on it." The Labasa Cane Cutters under the management of Greggor_The_Exactor (cousin of MP Gregor_The_Beggar) are raring and ready to go, supposedly spending their entire pre-season forging their immigration papers. Lastly, the Brisbane Bogans come into the competition strong, with a record 42 excuses per minute as to why they aren't racist, that the reason they hate Latrell Mitchell definitely isn't because of his skin colour, and repeatedly saying "I wish we were back in the good old days".

I better wrap things up now, it's 5:10pm now, or as the Queenslanders would be more familiar with - 50-6.

This has been Juan Four, courier for the Pasific Voice - and you've been reading The Fono.