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Heyyy :)
(I cannot host, but I can travel.)
It's an odd title I know. People think of PTSD as something that your mind does to abuse yourself, not necessarily others. There is a level of catharsis that comes with inflicting years of hatred and internalized bullying onto someone else. What do you get when you traumatize a sadist? Whatever it is, there's like a mentally ill element to my sadism. That's what it feels like. I know you would hurt me if I turned my back, so I will hurt you first. I want to be hugged, but I can't be hugged again because the last one was non-consensual and made me cry, so maybe I can abuse instead for once.
And then, the consent between us is very important. We can talk and discuss things irl if you'd like. Like out in public.
You can just be 18 and not a brat. Brats are not my type. I like cute women who have a lot of enthusiasm sometimes. One thing my trauma does to me is it makes me age regress, and so, one dynamic I heard (from someone far away that messaged me) that I thought was interesting was how I could have an older free use woman as "Mommy" and she would care for me emotionally and then I can take out all of traumatic experiences on her and overpower her. It wasn't originally my idea, but I liked it. I like silly women as well, but I'm not going to be very silly when I'm in my most aggressive headspace. I don't want to be alone. Yet, I am autistic and creepy and women scare me. I want to show you what I have been bottling up (and smell your hair... just a little)
(what no pussy does to a mf smh)
Feel free to hmu :)
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