This will probably be long. I found out I was pregnant after a round of Clomid in November of 2020. It was before I was supposed to get the ovulation shot. Everything seemed okay. My HCG was rising every few days and things were looking good, although we were really surprised because it seemed like I was still having my period in the beginning of the pregnancy. It was hard to determine exactly when the conception date actually was, and so it made verifying the gestational age difficult. After about a month, the doctors determined that the gestational sac had formed but the yolk had not and the pregnancy was non-viable. They put me on mistaprosal but it didn't work and I had to go in and get a DNC anyway. This was 10 days before Christmas.

I was so sad. The miscarriage affected me more than I thought it would, even though I had prepared myself (so I thought) for a potential negative outcome (I knew the first trimester was the trickiest and I am almost 40).

It's been a long road since then, my mental health hasn't been great. I got my period back in January but I was waiting for the HCG to go down for almost that entire month. Then the doctors did a hysterosalpinogram and identified a polyp or scar tissue in my uterus.

I had to wait another month for the insurance to approve the recommended hysteroscopy. I just had that done last week. The doctor identified the tissue as scar tissue, likely from the D&C, and now I'm cleared to start taking Clomid again, which I did today.

I'm really anxious. I don't feel like my doctors really explain things well, and it feels like I don't control ANY of this process at all. My husband doesn't get it- I told him I was going over what happened with the miscarriage last time to see where I might be a little more aware of what's happening time, and he was like you can't predict what will happen and you're setting yourself up for failure if you try. I just want to feel prepared, it's how I cope.