Hi All,

After much ambivalence, my husband and I decided to start trying to to conceive while on our beautiful Greek honeymoon in August. We were shocked, scared, and excited when a pregnancy test came back positive a few weeks later, particularly given my ~advanced maternal age~. We began rearranging our space in preparation and told close friends and family, who were all overjoyed. The due date was very close to my dad’s birthday- our Greek honeymoon baby seemed meant to be.

On 10/6 we had a confirmed heartbeat, but we were told we were measuring about a week smaller than expected. They shrugged it off as likely due to my ovulating later than expected. I asked for a follow-up ultrasound in 2 weeks to set my mind at ease. That happened to fall on my birthday, but I wasn’t too worried. My husband was also unable to be there due to work travel. After waiting over an hour to be seen, I slowly realized during the ultrasound that there was no heartbeat, but the tech couldn’t give me any information.

I sat alone in a room crying for 20 minutes, waiting for them to get a doctor on the phone to tell me what I already knew. The pregnancy had stopped developing at 8w4d. I was honestly surprised by how hard this hit, given our initial ambivalence and how early it all was, but we’ve truly been grieving. I decided to be very open about my pregnancy loss and the love and support have been wonderful.

After hearing my options for dealing with the miscarriage, I opted for vacuum aspiration because I figured a short period of pain and then it’s done was preferable to a more drawn out process. I also read that it’s less intense than a traditional D&C. My understanding is that vacuum aspiration was done awake and D&C under sedation. This is part of why I chose VA even though I didn’t like the idea of being awake through it.

The office where we went was incredible: clean, efficient, kind staff. The doctor who treated me was incredibly kind, competent, and patient. I learned at that point that vacuum aspiration with sedation was indeed an option, but that it would require coming back another day. I felt so ready to get it over with, I just opted to do it awake. If there’s a next timer, I’d opt for sedation.

I was offered 2 Advil, antibiotics, and a cervical numbing injection- no other pain or anxiety options were offered for what I had chosen. I was very glad I had brought my own Ativan that I asked my requesting from my referring gynecologist for just in case, though I’m not so sure it kicked in on time anyway.

The procedure consisted of the injection (some little pinches and pressure), followed by a series of cervical dilators which hurt much more than I’d expected given the numbed cervix, and then the vacuum procedure. For me, the worst pain was the largest sets of dilators, which I would rate at about a 7 out of 10. Very painful, made me sweat, but not enough to scream or anything, I just breathed through it and squeezed my husband’s hand.

The vacuuming itself took two passes and didn’t really hurt, just some pressure and cramping. It was all done in maybe 5-7 mins of discomfort. Once the speculum came out, I immediately felt relief. Since then, I’ve had period-like cramps which are steadily improving and some light bleeding. I am emotionally exhausted but relieved to have it over with.

I was advised that apart from the 2 weeks required to heal, that I could resume trying again as soon as I want and that there are no impacts on fertility.

All in all, though it was unpleasant, it was bearable and fast and I’m glad I went with the option I chose.

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