I’m drowning emotionally. I’ve been to scared reaching out for help because I felt like I’d seem to vulnerable for the military. Like being in means that you need to stay strong 24/7. But when I’m in my work center, every degrades me because I’m mentally slow. I just have a hard time processing things because if I rush then I’m bound to mess up but they don’t understand that. So they give me a hard time no matter what I do. At first, it started off with all of us fucking around and I knew it was all jokes. But now my wife is expecting soon and I’m trying to stay strong at work and take care of her and help her around the house and it’s all getting to much. Now she’s starting to worry about me. I just want her to start labor already so I can get away from the mental abuse of work. I’ve been getting tired at work and been off my game. And I feel bad for slacking off but I just don’t have the motivation anymore.

Last time I tried talking to a chaplain about it. They pretty much just told me tough luck 🤷‍♂️ and I told my mom because she didn’t understand what was going on with Washington or Bush (I forgot) and I told her “even though you’re on a boat with close to 5,000 people all around you, you’ll be surprised on how lonely you could feel” based on my own experience.

I was a squadron and we felt like a family. Now I’m at a much bigger squadron and it’s like no one cares about you. There’s no family there. Everyone’s there to do their own thing.

I just needed to vent because I tried reaching out for help but the one person I need help from is far to busy and I’m almost at my breaking point.