I'd appreciate some advice.

My MIL is oblivious rather than malicious, but she does have a habit of saying things that just don't reflect the values I want my daughter to internalise. Examples:

• "You're so clever. Daddy was very clever. Uncle X wasn't; he was just ordinary."

(This is what prompted my post. There's...a lot to unpack here. Suffice it to say, MIL and late FIL did not foster healthy sibling relationships. FIL made no bones about the fact that DH was his favourite - like, outright said so. MIL's favourite was the baby (but she wanted him to be a girl and told him so). Middle brother was understandably bitter, but it has turned him into a really really awful person.

We're hoping to have another child and I don't want DD to internalise the idea that her sibling is competition. In addition, yes, she is clever, and we do tell her she is, but cleverness is like beauty. It's genetic luck. We try to make sure we also praise her for being kind, helpful, thoughtful, honest, trying hard, etc.)

• "You're so nice and slim." (She was on the 9th percentile when she was born, so she was diddy. At 19 months she's 50th for height and weight, so smack bang on average. And she's 19 months old! She doesn't need to give a damn about being "slim"!

• "You won't grow up properly if you don't finish your dinner."

Food is a big one, actually. MIL is very slim and very fit (runs competitively in her late 60s) but lives entirely on sugar. Like, she never eats a sensible meal, just chocolate and biscuits and cake. Meanwhile I'm a bit overweight but eat a very balanced diet (just a bit too much of it).

We did baby-led weaning; MIL tries to spoon-feed feed her every time we eat together. We offer a healthy balance of foods and allow baby to decide when she's done; MIL constantly urges her to clean her plate. We offer "sometimes foods" like chocolate without making a huge pantomime about them; MIL alternates between making a huge excited deal of GRANDMA HAS BROUGHT YOU CHOCOLATE and lecturing me that DH didn't have ice cream until he was five (which is a total fantasy).

I shut her down and correct her every time. She just keeps doing it, though.

My husband has encouraged me to pull back and see her less often, but it's complicated by the fact that of her other two sons, one is abusive because he's a bastard and one is a burden because he's a fuckup. She's not a bad person, and someone has to check in and make sure she's okay.

Advice?