Whats up 6 people who actually read this? I would like to start this post off by clarifying that I am a virgin. This means you shouldn't expect a literal sex god or someone ready to jump straight into the kinkiest of kinks. But I would love if I was able to find someone who was willing to help me enter this new section of life. With that said, I hope you're strapped into your chair because you're about to read the most mediocre post you've ever had the grace of laying your eyes upon! Lets waste no time!

[How do I look?]

A body of a god!... Just not a very handsome god. Maybe like Buddha or Dionysus. But no, I'm sitting right at 6'0.. I swear I didn't round up! I'm also like 170 pounds. But my build is tall and skinny and thats all that matters right? :p. I've got short blonde hair with what I have been told is godlike eyelashes. Overall if I'm being real my looks are kinda meh but that just means I've learned to make up for it in other ways. No not like that you perverts... well probably not like that.

[Location]

I'm in the metro-Detroit area. I swear I'm not in the ghetto.. or at least not that bad of a ghetto. In all seriousness it's a nice neighborhood outside of the bad parts of Detroit. I'm willing to give a better idea to those I talk with and get to know a bit :)

[What I'm looking for in you]

Being a woman is a requirement, yes harsh start I know. A pulse is not needed, but greatly preferred.. Really though, there are a few things I ask about you.

Physically/Age wise: I'd like someone in the age range of 18-55. This is not set in stone, and I'd be willing to up my upper limit a few years. I just need to set the end somewhere. I also ask that you're white. Obviously I have no issues with people of other races, it's just that I find white people the most attractive to me. Sorry! Besides those two things, I don't really mind how you are physically. I place a bigger deal in your personality :)

Location: I'm aiming for you to be within about an hour of me ideally! As said, Downriver Michigan (:

Character traits: Yeah, I ask a few things here as well. Please don't be a drug user. The only exception I can make is for weed. Medical or recreation use is fine, but I just have to ask you not to use around me. Smoking in general makes me as sick as a dog. This includes being in somewhere that smells smokey where people have smoked in the past.

Be ready to teach me and go slow. I may not get everything right at first. I may be a bit of an anxious mess or take a little bit to meet up. But if you make sure to be vocal with advice and help me, I swear we will get somewhere together!

Be able to hold a conversation better than a wet piece of paper towel. A part of what I'd like is for us to talk a bit. We don't need to be best friends forever, but being a casual friend would make me feel so much better. I'll go ahead and list a few hobbies that we can kick off of!

[Hobbies]

Board games: Awh yeah. Cause what better way to destroy our relationship before it starts by busting out the old monopoly board. I tend to spend my new years with my grandmother (Fight me. I'm a good grandkid) and we all play board games together. It made me realize how comfy it is to do that, and how much I enjoy just having casual fun like that with someone. So it'd be awesome if you're up for that too.

History: Oh boy, history. Even if you don't like it all that much, get prepared to hear at least some rants about it and see my collection of history memes. I adore history. The books I read? all historical fiction or just typical history books. The music I listen to? Most have roots or connection to history. The games I play? They're mostly based in historical settings. Hotel? Trivago Car? Car fax.

Music: I'm dumb picky with music. I only listen to a few select bands and am so stubborn on adding into the group. The bands I do listen to are powermetal mostly (read, nerdy metal.) Sabaton, Powerwolf, Turisas, Epica, Alestorm. What more does a man need?

Video games. Yep, I've been playing with them ever since I was a kid. These days I'm on my PC, though for long car trips I do have a switch I use. For some of the highlights of what I play: OSRS at times. I do a run on Pokemon every now and then. Usually just whichever one I'm feeling like through an emulator. I have tons of stuff on steam. Total wars, Paradox games, Borderlands. I'm also a minecraft nerd till the end as well. Darksouls will have a special place in my heart even if it can be bs at times haha. Plus go ds2! That said, I have a ton more on my steam library. Feel free to message me about that!

Hiking/Fishing. I'm a fairly big hiker. As of now I've hiked all over the US, Puerto Rico's rainforest to Yellowstone and the Grand Canyon. Ask me about the time I almost died in the Grand Canyon! Also get ready to see that top performance hiker body :p I threw in fishing too, with how hand and hand they can be at times. Usually I only use charter ships on trips though, with as bad fishing is near where I live.

[Conclusion]

Now now, I know you're just dying to message me. But you may be asking, what can I message to impress this God of a man, Sexiest Redditor, Most likely to succeed normal person? Well, I'm going to include some ice breakers!

1: Is a hotdog a sandwich?

2: If you had to become a fruit, what fruit would you be and why?

3: What would win in a fight? The Sun, or 1 trillion lions

4: If the presidential elections were determined by a gladiator arena fight, who would be our next president?