I recently posted this to Fet and got a good response, so I figured I would share it here in hopes that it helps out the fellas and cuts down on the amount of hopeless messages women and couples receive…

I’ve been in the “lifestyle” on and off for about 15 years now and I’ve had more than my fair share of fun with couples, single women, and hotwives. Since joining Fet I’ve been asked by quite a few guys how I’m so lucky. To which I’d reply, it’s not luck. It’s not hard to get laid as a single guy, but it’s also not easy. Remember, there’s like 1000 of us men to every woman or couple whose actually interested in hooking up, so it’s going to take a little more than, “Hey, wanna fuck?”. So listen up fellas, here’s some advice:

1. Fill out your profile, show some personality, let people get an idea about who you are. Be clear about what you’re looking for. Be yourself. Be confident in who you are. If you’re not hung like a horse, don’t pretend to be. (Hint: you don’t have to be, I’m not). Post (or be prepared) to share clear RECENT pictures that don’t look like they’re from 1997. In this lifestyle physical attraction matters, and while it may not be everything, it is kind of important, and oddly enough, what you look like matters to someone considering having sex with you. Weird I know.

2. Use your words. Don’t just say “hey”, or “hi”, or even worse, “wanna fuck?” More than likely you won’t get a response, but if you do, the answer will almost certainly be no. Be interesting, let them know what you’re looking for and why you’re interested. Tell them something about yourself. Be original. Make them laugh, people like laughing.

3. Keep the dick pics to yourself. Everyone knows what a dick looks like. If she/they want to see yours, trust me, they’ll ask…but don’t just send a dick pic unsolicited. While women appreciate a nice dick, unless it’s as big as your arm (joking) it’s probably just better to keep it to yourself until requested. Remember, unless you’re going to a gloryhole, the first thing she’ll see is your face, not your dick…it should be that way online as well.

4. Don’t lie. Be honest about who you are, when you’re available, and what you’re looking for. Don’t assume people are dumb. People know when you’re lying, and they probably know why you’re lying (hint: you’re married, or in a relaionship). Listen, if you’re on a lifestyle site, you’re dealing with open-minded people, and while everyone may not be open to someone who is in a relationship, some people will be…seek out those people.

5. Be realistic. If you think she’s out of your league, then she’ll probably think that too. I’m not saying don’t shoot your shot, just don’t be disappointed or get mad if she doesn’t reply or she isn’t interested. Everyone has their own preferences and desires, maybe hers are different, that’s okay, there’s plenty of other fish in the season.

6. Show up. If you make plans, you better damn well show up. No one likes having their time wasted. Think about this, if there were 1000 women for every man, would you wait around for the same one to show up next time if she didn’t show up last time? If you would, well I guess, fuck around and find out what happens if you don’t show (hint: there won’t be a next time).

That’s it. It’s really not that hard guys. Don’t overcomplicate it. Be yourself. Be serious. Be genuine. Be honest. Show up…oh, and keep the dick pics to yourself.