My wife wants me to quit doing it and is threatening taking my kids away and screwing me on money. She's angry right now and is being irrational in my mind because she asked for the first time what I spent money on and found out I was using and flipped her lid. I feel like I've woke up from a 10 year nap mentally ever since I think I hit an all time low in my life when I really thought I was losing everyone I loved. I cried like a baby in front of most people I knew and I was willing to quit eventually but not accepted by my wife. No one else besides my wife thinks I'm losing my mind I even asked my two children and many coworkers with complete honesty of the situation. We normally smoke weed and she wasn't even willing to give me money which I earned to buy that or anything I needed for myself. My direct deposit goes to her account and hasn't really been an issue for a very long time. I hid 2 years of ecstasy use from her but before that I had a good 10 years as an alcoholic which was a direct bounce from addiction to spice for 8months. She was there for me through some of it but through most of it she was a spectator and criticized whenever she didn't like something or wasn't happy. I stayed mentally strong for a woman who is known to have issues. As soon as she found out I was using it she decided to be a fucking cop about it and kick me out then and there. Threatened to call the cops and have me arrested. Claimed me and my friend are being watched and I'm not even paranoid or scared any of this. I don't believe she's going to do anything. She punched me in the mouth twice last week once was not justifiable to me but the second time I provoked her on purpose. I never hit back and ate the punches like Captain crunch for breakfast. Never called the cops even though the second time I told her I was doing it so I could get her a battery charge, lol. She's the mother of my children and I love her even though our relationship has been rocky for a long time. I feel like the stuff gives me motivation and so many answers to things id never have thought of or would take me longer to figure out. I told her I won't quit on her terms because I've seen my father go through addiction and as soon as he relapsed he had to start lying again. The worst thing I've done is lied and spent an amount of money that would never break our finances apart. We never struggled through out my addiction to uppers. I've maintained a job for 10 years and am one of the most valuable employees there. Ive come home to my family every night and even through the threats and fights I've maintained all of it. I feel like after I broke down last week I have only started to climb from a place that I've been for a very long time even before uppers. I came up with solutions to fix all of our marriages problems but she won't even consider unless I stop using. I've only lost 10-20 pounds in the year of use and gained more muscle. People are actually telling me I look healthier or more fit. I haven't had any medical problems like kidney stones which I had while drinking. I feel more fit and feel like my mind is so clear and strong. Opportunity has been falling in front of me and I have more hope for life. What's your opinion if you got this far?