Im going to a program called catalyst tommorow that specializes in meth and meth addiction only im pretty much gunna kill myself if i keep using. I was a functional coke head for 2 years had a good plug supported my habit by selling 2 g’s of bomb for 100 to re up the next day n support my daily habit while working too. Then tryed crack! Sweet 2.5 years of my life gone down the drain. Lost everything and i mean everything cars finances family etc. go to treatment told i have severe adhd because im calm on crack and coke like obiously a lil more energy bit never psychosis only a few people called me out on my use while hiding it. Until you cant hide it no more because your broke you isolate at trap house’s u can only lie so much. Go to treatment prescribed vyvanse???? Great so your gunna give a stim user more stims??? Anyways i took them as prescribed low dose 20mg a day got my life back slowly but surely. I considered that clean time but its not.. then got the great idea to up the dose and so on and so forth abising my script using again pretty much then got the great idea to use crystal because its dirt cheap and 10x more effective i hid my use for 4 months. Barely putting a dent in my pocket book functioning. Etc i came clean to everyone out of guilt and shame put my gf through hell ive tryed everything detox home detox excercise but havent ever had counseling or therapy which this program has and i have to have clean urine after week two of the program to qualify and get help. Anyways finacially im fine its my relationship and health im worried about i have chest pains continue to use! Headaches everything u can think of muscle pain ive had kidney issues i keep going. I literally just got off a 6 day bender slept about 9 hours and im back at it not to mention my doctor tapered me off benzos that i was prescribed for 4 years for sedation night time only before bed so im buying pressed rc benzos off the street at least i fent test them and benzo test them with strips im either gunna die or lose my gf who got with me while clean we met before any of my stim use so she knows the real me and the crack me which was the worse and started dating when considered myself clean and now shes with meth me im pretty well fuxked and hopeless i jiat had this realization now like 20 mins ago while i lay here with enough dope to kill me 3x and i snort .6 1.0 daily also my sinuses are so damaged i have to flush my eyes this program is my last hope i hit bottom with crack i quit cause i wanted it i want this worse and i cant im fucked!!!! Ps. My girl is a normie as we would say in fellowship