I’m at a retreat. It’s a wonderful time and I’m having a very renewing time. But I don’t know anyone.I don’t know anyone who I’m comfortable enough to tell them about my struggles.

Sharing my struggles doesn’t help anyway. They’re just my heavy mental illness at this point.

I have some relations with some of the staff here but our past isn’t sunshine and rainbows. And I definitely don’t wanna tell them that i was recently struggling with impulsive suicidal ideations.

Don’t get me wrong I will share with them if I believe I’m a threat to myself. I think right now I’m just tired of the dark tunnel I’m in but I’m in absolutely no inherent danger.

If I was, my family and therapist would’nt have let me go on this retreat.

And honestly until just now I’ve been really good. I think I just need a hug…or 10. And maybe someone on here who understands what it’s like to be in a situation with strangers lol.

I’m not actively suicidal right now. So please don’t worry about that.

We’re at the coast and have nature all around us. I’m doing okay; I’m just hangin out and trying to relax.And I am slowly making friends. I have things to look forward to.

One more night and then home. And then therapy on Tuesday. I got this.

I didn’t know what to label this as. I’m not necessarily venting, I don’t need support. Well maybe support, I need minimal support right now. Once I leave the retreat and go back home I’ll be bad again. That’s what scares me I think. Maybe that’s why I’m here.