I'm on a downward trajectory with my mood. Pababa na ako from my "high". Hays. It all changed when reality about money problems comes staring you down. Glaring.

Putangina ang hirap, ang mahal mabuhay.

Lumalabas nanaman ang mga suicidal ideations ko. How to just die po? I don't wanna kill myself cause I love my family but I wish I could just die. Maybe then my family could be comfortable financially for some time.

I don't have much options eh. I'm trying naman. Sana may rich bestie or sugar daddy na lang ako eh. Hays, life. Mag un-life option na po ako.

I hate talking to friends whenever I'm depressed. I hate talking to everyone, anyone. Maybe the mood stabiliser isn't working. My mental health journal isn't cutting it. It's good for tracking its not the same as here where people might see it even if anonymous.