Everything started in September. My SO cheated on me with her officemate (who is also very close to me). Nahuli ko lang sila last September, pero more than a year na relasyon nila (or could be years).

Ang daming nagbago since then. Para bang I spiraled. I skip meals, I stay in bed all day long, I sleep all day long, wala ng gana kumain, magtrabaho. Been searching for ways to end everything in a painless way. I already hurt myself (cut myself).

Merong mga days na okay ako, pero pag natrigger at naalala ko mga nangyari, bagsak nanaman ako. It's just a cycle. 3 months na, and it isn't getting any better. I also posted here about taking meds for emotional numbing w/o getting an initial consultation. Ayoko kasi magshare/kwento sana sa doctor. Pero kung kinakailangan, I might try.

But I dont know. Am I just hurt? Is this just a phase in my life? Could this be related to depression? My SO (my cheating SO) even told me na maybe Im just hurt sa mga nangyari kaya ganito response ko, , but Im not depressed daw. The audacity diba. Lol.