August 30, 2024 - Just a random day. Woke up early but didn't havr the energy to move and all stuff I need to. Got the courage and everything late. Came to work late.

9AM - There was a program. I don't have any tasked assigned so I just went there and just be there so my superiors will see me there. Program got loud, people got loud. A lot of cheers that it hurts my ear. Heart rate went fast, and I am getting irritated already so I just left and find a little quiet spot to gather myself.

10AM - Went back there cause program aint finish yet. Same shit happened so around 10:30AM, I left and went back to my office seat.

11AM - Program finished I think. Issues happened as there are competitions there. Sooo yah, colleagues were involved. work drama and here and there.

12PM - Its payday so I just withdraw my stuff. Had some lunch while a little bit of chitchat to colleagues found along the way.

2PM - 4PM - There was a not so designated smoking space in work. It was a storage room. Went there with colleagues as I don't havr any task to do for the day. Spent around 2 hours with them talking about other colleagues and stuff. We should be going home but because there was another work event at night, we are required to stay, but yeah, not really working. Tried to puff some vape. Planning to buy this soon.

4PM - We get out again. Did some grocery stuff for my stock for 2 weeks.

6PM - We came back, enought time for the night event. It was a little game and a lot of food, drinking and singing. A little bit loud but manageable. I just enjoyed the night.

10PM - event ended. another colleague wasted.

11PM - LRT already closed so we just had some coffee to cap the night.

12AM - We bid goodbye to each other.

1AM - came home. left as soon as I put down my bag. I was having running thoughts while walking home. Decided to take a walk at wee hours just to pass the time and emotions. Called some people, told them I was not okay. I am having attacks I think. I don't know what to do, I don't know where to go. I just wanna cry and pour this shit out of me. The person I called was not okay also. Said sorry to her multiple times. I was on the edge. I walked around, took a footbridge along the way and stayed for a bit there. Observe the night road with all the cars knowing where they wanna go. I was on the edge. At the back of my mind, I remember that this area will be busy soon or tomorrow for some major local event. A lot of people will be affected if I do something stupid there. So I walk away.

2AM - Still walking in dark roads and alleys. If a person came up to me, I hope he/she will do it quick.

3AM - Came back home, tired, sweaty but alive. Washed up and fell asleep.