Long read. Please weigh in if you can.

For context: I live with my adoptive mother (67F), her eldest brother (78M) and older sister (73F) plus three dogs. They’re the family I’ve known since I was eight months old. They raised me.

Since the pandemic hit, I have been the sole breadwinner since my mom’s office shuttered in 2020 and the owner died in 2022. I took on all sorts of jobs to make ends meet for all of us. I sometimes fall short but I always find a way to keep the lights on and meet everyone’s daily needs.

Now, we live in relative comfort with my recently landing a job with a six figure salary. However, my mom and her siblings constantly fight and the home atmosphere is never conducive to my productivity.

My mom (67F) has always been controlling. She controls everything I do despite all my protests. She doesn’t always get her way because I push back and keep her in her lane. She always demands I come home early whenever I go out and she treats my money as if it’s hers. While wala naman siyang luho, I hate that she decides and controls my money as. If it’s hers.

My uncle (78M) has been unemployed longer than I’ve been alive. His wife left him a year before I was born and he decided to let himself go. He has always been at the mercy of my mom because he was nakaasa sa na kanya since the split. A forever Jesus freak, he decided to feed homeless children 3x a week and those kids frequently knock on our doors at all hours. He scrounges for donations from just about anyone he meets to feed them with no regard for feeding himself or his basic needs kasi nakaasa siya dito.

My Tita (73F) was a former OFW who has been mostly unemployed since year 2000. She and her brother have a longstanding animosity because he and another brother (now deceased) forcibly sold her house and divvied up the proceeds among the two of them. They reasoned, she’s an OFW with a chance to make money while they don’t. Ultimately, wala siyang naipon and is forced to live with us in their parents’ home.

My issue is everyone fights on a daily basis over the most random and trivial matters. My Tita (despite telling her to stop nagging) loves to nag everyone about pagtitipid sa kuryente (even if I am the one paying for it) and always fights with her brother because the mere sound of his breathing makes her angry and he is a disgusting slob. She also berates me for my clutter, for cooking good food na kumpletos recados (magtipid daw kasi ako) and she gets on my mom’s case every single day.

Now, this is the part that really makes me angry. Despite all my sacrifices paying for everything to give them a decent life, they still refuse to yield that I am now the head of the family and does not treat me with respect. Mayabang daw ako whenever I say I pay for everything at binubuhay ko sila. Hindi ko daw siya binubuhay because she helps out around the house and she insists she’s not dependent because she has a 3.5k monthly pension. Everyday, people fight in his house and I have reached the point na wala na Kong respeto for anyone in this house. I scream, yell, and curse at them because living with them has been unbearable.

I don’t mind paying for everything and supporting them till they die and all I ask for is they get along so there’s peace and harmony in this shared space we’re living in but my pleas fall on deaf ears. I can afford to move out and take my mother and dogs with me but this house belongs to my mother and I can’t just kick them out. What should I do? It’s beginning to fuck with my headspace. And mahal ko naman sila. Nakakapikon lang that I constantly have to live in hellish conditions like this.