I'm really trying to be fine.

I know this shit is not just for me, but also to my friends and family. I keep faking things. Saying I'm okay, I already moved forward, but God knows I'm not.

I'm still having nightmares, relapses. I keep telling myself to let go, move forward. I keep focusing on my schooling. Nursing fucks the shit out of me. Considering I made it for them, for someone.

I don't wanna die, but I don't wanna live like this. I exercise, I eat healthy foods, make myself busy and all, but at the end of the day, nothing. I barely hang.

I stopped hurting myself. I stopped talking to strangers just to fill the void, but hey? Tf this is so hard.

I still feel nothing. 🙁 I can't feel anything. Help me, Lord. I'm really having hard time right now. Like really, really hard. Even alcohol or alone time or doing healthy shit don't make me feel things.