In 2021 she was talking to me about a medical procedure that she was getting done and I was struggling with my FWB due to him, not being honest with me. I got caught up in the latter situation so much that she rightfully called me out for not bothering to check up on her and told me that our friendship was over, and rightfully so. I sent her and sincere apology the next day, yet I got radio silence.

Unfortunately I’ve had a history of lashing out at her sometimes whenever I’m given constructive criticism

It has almost been three years and although I have been getting therapy meds and using great coping skills, such as working out hanging out with my other friends doing something that I enjoy, listening to my music and of course, spending time with my cat, things have not been the same since she cut me off from her life.

Although I am holding onto hope that one day we can be friends again despite the fact that I will probably not be the same, I’m having a hard time swallowing this bitter pill that she may never grant me access to her life again. I miss the things that her and I used to do really fun. But at the same time, I also acknowledge that I fucked up with her and she had every right to enforce the boundary to cut me off in order to protect herself, hence ruining what could’ve been a lifelong friendship. all because she was trying to tell me whenever I do stuff she didn’t agree with to be a better person.

I also can’t help but to think of her telling her friends ever since she cut me off she’s never felt a lot happier, which depresses me even more.

Has anyone else been in my situation as far as taking a friend for granted is concerned? Have you been able to rekindle a friendship or were you forced like me to live with the fuck up? And finally, have you been in the situation where you’ve held on hope that one day you and your last friend could be friends again?

TL; DR: Explosive temper & taking for granted cost me a friendship, was diagnosed with BPD after & using coping methods, still hanging on to hope that we’ll be friends again but also must accept that it would probably never happen