This really gets to the heart of it for me... It's funny, I see my wife jump from one freelance or self-employed job to another (none of which make much money, and some even end up costing us quite a bit). She tells me I'm lucky because I work as a professional where I'm respected, make enough to support my family, etc.

Except, I never wanted any of that. I never cared about the pride of being a provider, and the respect I receive at work is for stuff I'd just as soon forget about. I did these things because from day one I've been told that I have to work hard, get a good job, etc. How I would have loved for someone to have just said to me "do what makes you happy" when I was young, or told me to pick a college major based on interest and not on ROI. The message was always that I needed to focus on money so I could one day support a family, never even asking if that's something I wanted to do.

I'd say my own father was a "good man" despite his right wing talking points, but his brand of masculinity killed him. He taught me that being a man is all about sacrifice -- sacrificing your time, your health, and your happiness for the ones you love. At the end, this left him a shell of a man with nothing left to himself. He died lonely and depressed, unable to allow himself to accept love from his family because he was so focused on finding some way to "help" instead.