I've been trying to enjoy the gym. I've been trying to get into my physical health. I've always hated the fking gym. I hated it in school, and I hate it now. It's been 3 weeks and this week I've worked with a trainer who I can tell thinks I'm a whiny bitch. I have a shoulder injury so no, I'm not going to fucking push too hard. I don't know how the equipment works, sorry I'm stupid. Im exhausted and its taken every ounce ofanythingg to even ealk in the door. I explained I'm in peri and I don't expect him to get it. But his whole attitude towards me blows. He's leaving on vacation Friday and will be gone for a couple of months. I hope my gym experience improves.

Between his dismissive attitude and my own emotional problem relating to exercise and public gyms, I almost canceled my membership. I won't because I know my body needs this for the long run. But I'm not sure...I'd rather fucking wither away than feel like crying in front of all these fucks. I wish this anger was helpful in propelling me forward with exercise but it doesn't help.

Anyone feel me on this?

Update: Just wanted to thank all of you ladies who responded with so many great suggestions! I canceled my Friday abs appt with that guy and plan on going back to the gym next week. He'll be gone and I feel confident enough to use the machines on my own. If I still hate it and want to cry after a month of giving it a shot I'll find something else. I do also plan on swing dancing. There's lessons in my town once a week. Have a great weekend everyone!