This has been bothering me for a while. I'm safe now, out of the house of my abuser/rapist, been since December of 2019. What a relief it was to finally give that old man a piece of my mind as I left. I posted on here a year ago explaining my story but I'll go over this again in a shorter form.

In 2012 I moved into my gf and her grandfather's house. We got along swimmingly, he brought me in as his own grandson. He brought us fishing and brought us gifts.

One day he brought me into the guest house and forced himself on me. I didn't know what to do, I was shocked and completely at a loss. It was like I was out of body watching myself be raped by this man, cursing that I didn't do anything, more like afraid to do anything.

Well it ends, I go back to the room and keep quiet for a few days before blowing up and telling my gf that i was moving out and told her what happened, she came with me.

Well in 2016 a flood came and we lost everything, the old man apologized and took us back in. Everything was back to normal. Until he started pushing himself on me. Again I let him, I told myself this time if it was to happen I wanted to be in control. Take back the control he took from me the first time.

Soon after I let my resentment known towards the man and he became emotionally abusive and my gf and I mostly stuck to our room only leaving when needed.

Does it mean I liked it since I did it again. I didn't stop him. I was just as stupid as the first time.