When I was in my early 20's I was...taken advantage of by a cop while unconscious (woke up during, suppressed for a couple years)... She gave me HIV... Afterwards I went celibate... I can't be dishonest with a partner about it but it hurts so much to say because of the 99% chance that they leave. Although my meds make it to where I can't give it to someone, trying to explain that to the ignorant is basically a waste of time. I've thought about ending things at least a couple times an hour since it happened almost 10 years ago. And as I've gotten into my 30's the prospect of having a significant other or being a parent are looking worse and worse. I know it's only going to get worse as I get older. I'm trying so hard to keep going through this life alone but it gets so much harder every year... I don't need resources right now but just knowing I'm not alone right now could help a lot...