I'm male, but this is what I've picked up that might help you. For keeping safe:

Trust your gut. If you are getting bad vibes, just bail. Your gut might give you some false positives (thinking someone is good/safe when they aren't), but it will almost never give false negatives (thinking sometime is bad/dangerouswhen they aren't).

Meet in public first. It's a lot easier to judge if you've met a safe person or not in person, and in a public place you have the safety of being able to yell out if they don't take no for an answer. Or go somewhere you know has options for bailing or discreetly, like the bathrooms are near the exit, so you can make an excuse to use the facilities and bail instead. If you have a friend you can trust and isn't embarrassed, bring them along to watch out for you. You can even have a signal for them to come over to bail you out.

On how to find the guts, I don't know. If it's a powerful enough fantasy, I think at some point you just try something 😅

As for the experience and if it's good or not, that depends. One hook up might be mind-blowing, and the next night just blow 🤣 Having realistic expectations and communicating what you want in advance can improve the experience. E.g. If you hate having a hand on your neck but you meet a rougher guy they might do that and you'll have a bad time. But maybe you can only orgasm if they put a hand on your neck and you get a gentle guy who doesn't want to. Neither guy is "bad", but neither were a match. There's no time to learn the other person's preferences, so spelling them out makes everything better.

Hope that helps!

(And I'll be in Melbourne wed/thur if you want to practice, see my profile for more details 🤭)