hi. i’m slightly high still and feeling very mentally ill and lonely. very frustrating. 21f, extremely lonely and depressed

tonight is another one of those nights where i realize how much of a failure i am; how little i've accomplished, how miserable i still feel, how i screw up everything good that happens to me. i've singlehandedly ruined every relationship i've ever had because i'm completely unlovable.

i have severe BPD, ADHD, depression, anxiety. i have awful dissociation and depersonalization so nothing around me feels real and i don't feel real and the past and the present and the future all don't feel real. it's just utter misery. sometimes the pain is staved off slightly, but only for a minute, and the second i'm by myself again, it all sinks in how terrible a person i am.

pls don't send anything creepy or something along the lines of "life is good! u should just stop being so hard on urself". i've heard that plenty.