Hi welcome to the post where I feel like I bother everyone, eed attention, and will probably push you away in the near future. Also pls excuse my grammar as this is mostly a rant/brain dump post I made on my notes and feel the need to share with everyone on reddit.

So what’s been on my mind recently… well I don’t fit in anywhere and I would like to ask permission to die pls. But wait isn’t there something you want out of life before you die … oh yeah I do wanna see Jurassic world dominion, maybe get my own house but in this economical crisis? :-) with no money in my bank account? Seems like a pretty far stretch.

Sighs.. I simply am always alone and don’t get me wrong I’m used to my own company I love being alone but it’s always major things where I’m alone perhaps I should see it like hey I’m here I did it but my pessimistic ass always looks around and it’s like oh? Alone again… naturally. We (I) graduated high school, we graduated college… big deal? Alone. After the ceremony I looked around saw no one and walked towards my parents to leave. I didn’t congratulate no one, no one congratulated me no hugs, no cries. Fast forward, got a job, look at that long hallway, is that a representation of my life? walking through a long hallway alone.. that eerie feeling like when you’re walking in a hotel lobby dim lighting some pieces of the hallway more lit up than others every other room. Fast forward never kept friends.. or true friends where I can always feel supported and loved and like we’re meant to be? always alone… a bitch gets lonely. Am I touch deprived? Yup. to make it worse I am very much an introverted homebody and I push people away and I put my guard up at all times so conversing with people is hard especially when I don’t drink or smoke or go out or know how to do basic people things. Making decisions? What’s that? Pls take care of me I’m useless, I have no purpose besides providing the earth of my carbon dioxide perhaps.

So I ask again good sir. Can I please die now? Well maybe after watching Jurassic world dominion.

I just noticed it’s a new month, the birds are chirping, sadly the sky is not blue and the sun is not out, should I say new month better outlook? Yes… but..

Feel free to diagnose me, take a look around, perhaps make fun of me? Leave me on read idk… no real point to this although I’d love a message but there isn’t much to say, except… “well fuck”