Hello all welcome to another post about me revealing too much and wanting to talk on things going on in my life.. I think this is pretty quick advice so alas here is my piece

I don't know what to do, my mom told me today that she would like me to go say my condolences to the family of my dad on the 24th bc my grandmother passed away( I did not feel anything, I did not go to the funeral, I did not have a connection with her) but I just don't want to I haven't seen them(my dads family) for years and I don't want to I don't feel comfortable with them and if I go I know I'm gonna get annoyed and get so many questions. I know they'll ask “omg it’s been so long, why don't you love us?, don't you love us?...” like do you want me to say the truth? I know it sounds mean but i feel no association or connection like if I haven’t wanted to see or visit you doesn’t that mean something? Wouldn’t it click in your head “hey she probably doesn’t like us”. I don't have the energy to plaster on a fake smile and my mom was like go say your condolences talk a little and you can leave but it's not like I can just show up say sorry and leave it doesn't work like that a little while is like 3 hrs like pls.. I don't want to. I live with my parents and my parents are Mexican and I don’t have a good relationship with my dad.

My other dilema is I wanna watch Spider- Man and idk when to go I wanna go either the 24th or the 25th and idk when to go and my brother wants to go too so that's annoying but I'm just like ok let's think about it what sounds worse the 24th in which my cousin ( all my aunts favorite kid ) gets here and it's his birthday and my one fav cousin that day will probably bring her bf or bring her friend so i won't even be able to talk with her bc she's attending them. Or on the 25th because it's gonna be a very boring long af day- I don't think we(my family) will go anywhere or do anything so I'm just like bro what the fuck to do

Sounds stupid coming from a 26 year old but that’s how the cookie crumbles