According to my best friend who reads the tea leaves and studies the moon and stars, the four signs I'm most compatible with are another Cancer, Libra, Virgo and Scorpio.

She belongs in the back of a dusty old bookstore somewhere with her hands hovered above a crystal ball. She undoubtedly tires of seeing me make dumb ass decisions in life and love so I'm inclined to believe her.

I just read my horoscope and decided the description sounded enough like me to just go ahead and copy and paste that bad boy.

Cancer

The loyal crab, folks, they're not just interested in just hanging out and grabbing a beer. Oh no, when they befriend you, they're subconsciously interviewing you for the role of a lifetime. Their ideal partner and best friend rolled into one. That's right, they don't separate the two. For Cancers, friendship is like a testing ground, where they get to know you, your weird habits, your food preferences (extremely important, trust me), your reaction to the ending of Game of Thrones (also very important, for obvious reasons), and so on. They're the ones sending you those late-night memes and texting you during their coffee breaks. Good luck figuring out when they cross the line from friendship into something more. Just be sure to remember, with Cancer, it's all about that deep, emotional bond.

Not 100% accurate but pretty spot on. There are three parts I strongly disagree with.

1. I'm not overly concerned with someone else's food preference. We don't have to be so far up each other's asses we eat the same thing for dinner every time. That's about as nauseating as wearing matching sweaters.

2. I didn't even see the ending of Game of Thrones (or the beginning of it, for that matter) so I'm not at all worried about your reaction. It's kind of funny, an ex of mine was obsessed with that show and was a Virgo. She didn't care that I wasn't interested in it.

3. I'm a direct, to the point kind of guy so you won't have to figure it out if I want to cross that line into something more. I'll come right out and tell you. It's that simple.

Well, hopefully that tells you a little something about me, so if any Cancers, Libras, Virgos and Scorpios see this and like what they see, shoot me a message and tell me a little bit about yourself.