Casting call: Final girl wanted.

This bloodcurdling B movie splatter fest aka my life, Is in search of a brand new scream queen. If I find my cinematic love interest I'm prepared to offer her a longterm contract and a starring role. The previous starlets I've known only signed on for brief cameo appearances and now that footage rests on the cutting room floor. The show must go on, as they say, so it's time to recast and reboot the old love life. Lets see if you're right for the part!

About me:

I'm Josh and In case you couldn't already tell, I like movies. I like 'em a lot. In particular, horror movies. Whether it's a creature feature, a slasher film, grimy grindhouse exploitation cinema of the 70s, cheesy sci fi space adventures involving monsters of preposterous proportions, an unnecessary sequel, a terrible remake, a shark somewhere where a shark shouldn't actually be, like a cornfield or up in the sky or even a legitimate Hollywood production that has been marketed as a "thriller" to appeal to larger audiences, I'm In. I'll pop some popcorn, put on the 3D glasses, suspend my disbelief and take life as it comes, 90 minutes at a time. I'm especially fond of holiday centered ones. You know, ones where some guy dresses up like Santa Claus and doesn't care what you want for Christmas. You're getting the axe.

I am the result of a childhood spent scouring the horror section at the video store. Horror movies have always played a pivotal role in my life and it would be nice to find someone who shares my passion for them. It would be nice to find someone to talk to about them and nerd out with. I make some of the most obscure references and bonus points to you if you get them. I know I'm not for everyone and that's okay. I am comfortable in my own skin, which is fortunate considering I lack Buffalo Bill's skin-suit making expertise. He knew his way around a sewing machine. I can barely thread a needle. Also, not the kinda thing I wanna google, so, sighs, my own skin it is. If you decide to do a bit of sleuthing around you'll find pics of me on my profile.

I am packed full of personality but am limited to one so it would be nice to find someone with more than zero but less than two in that department. Sorry I made you math, but at this point in my life I just need a little consistency. I don't ask much but I'd like to talk to the same person two days in a row. I tend to season my sentences with a hearty amount of double entendres and expletives. I'm dropping F-bombs coming and going. No, I'm not a sailor, I just curse like one. It's an easy mistake.

More than likely the lass I'm looking for is alone in her room, petting a cat of some sort. Might she also have a seeing impairment? If history is any indicator she most certainly will. Here's hoping she finds those glasses long enough to read this post. I have no preference when it comes to appearance though, bespectacled or not, come as you are. I'm always down to talk on the phone and love to video chat but hey, let's text a little first and see if we like each other.

I'm not here to alleviate boredom or to just while away the hours. I have plenty of hobbies and interests to keep me busy. I'm looking for someone who puts in the same amount of effort as I do. Someone who wants to meet me halfway in making time for each other and be a regular part of each other's lives. I realize that's a stretch here of all places but you gotta play to win and I have nothing to lose.. I'm not interested in the ones who just talk to a different person every night and are always off to the next one. I have more than enough dead conversations in the reddit chat graveyard.

Pass me by if you're only passing through.

I'm not in the market for a situationship, a flirtationship or any of the other love dodging loopholes that make Cupid cry. I have a real relationship policy. Take it or leave it. I don't try to force things. If it happens, it happens. I'm open to it.

I'm looking for someone in the continental united states. That's where I am and it just seems more likely to work out if you're here too. Sure, it would sound romantic for me to say I'd go to the ends of the Earth for you, but let's be real, I won't. I do text first and often though.

So if I've captured your attention and you think you might just be willing to stand shoulder to shoulder with me against a ravenous army of the undead and will subtlety tell me when my shoes are untied or my fly is down, send me a message.

Lights, camera, action!