Trying to meet some people..holidays make the loneliness even worse. NYE is coming up and I definitely have no plans. I really want to meet someone, take her on dates, get to know her, but I don't know where to go. I don't drink or go to bars. People say go explore and do things that interest you or find hobbies so you can meet people, it's a bit hard when most of the stuff I do don't involve people. And I want to meet people and hangout. I have awful social anxiety but I enjoy going out. Most of the time I just find going out alone to be a waste of time. I love going to restaurants but if I'm by myself I can just cook at home. It's the experiences, and I'm not sure if it's just me, I want to experience with others. Without someone else, everything feels kinda mundane. When I go exploring or see something in nature that's breathtaking I want to share it. But I have no one to share it with, to talk about it with. Having it all to myself makes the loneliness even worse. I enjoy the experience but when it's all over I'm left with a feeling of dread and loneliness and an aching pain in my chest.

No one enjoys talking on the phone anymore. Or meeting up for coffee or lunch dates. I feel like unless you have a friend group it's so damn hard to find someone. And I have family and friends, it's just different when it's someone special you want to share life experiences with. Share dinners with, go on vacations with. I'm not sure why it feels different and I'm not sure why I can't be content with just sharing everything with friends and family, but nothing helps that lonely aching feeling. Can anyone relate or explain what I'm going through or is it just my immaturity?