I've been meditating for around 6 years. So, I'm not new to this.

I've always been employed and have been able to put food on the table and earn more than i wanted.

However, lately, I'm getting so deeply consumed by ecstacy, bliss, love, that i just want to sit in silence.

It's not that i just want to meditate all day ( i would love to but i know it's impractical), but i feel that where I am in my career is not right, in my heart. I dread going to work to write pointless code with colleagues that do not appreciate me. Another thought says that work is supposed to suck, it's not supposed to be fun. It pays the bills.

I'm afraid i may end up making a bad decision and quiting the job and may lose the my financial source.

The smart thing to do is to keep my job, no matter how shitty it is. Because maybe there will be a recession. So, it's better to be employed right now, rather than look for a new job in this market.

Did you ever experience a time when your heart said one thing but your brain said something else? Do you have any advice?