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Changes in Interpersonal Relationships
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To those of you with whom this post resonates, how did you handle these changes?

As my practice grows, my personality changes (e.g., more compassionate, kind, honest, good boundaries, desire for more intimate relationships [read: platonic intimacy]) and I notice I no longer enjoy doing all the same stuff I used to do. I notice I don't enjoy partying with my friends and when I do hang with them I notice I'm no longer interested in the subjects and behaviors that they are invested in. I haven't dropped them as friends, rather, I try to meet them more one-on-one, going for hikes, lunch, coffee, whatever, but I don't hang out with them as much as before. A couple things trouble me, however. One, I grow more aware of their lack of skill in interpersonal relationships which often is experienced as them trying to engage me in unskillful interactions, psychological projection, and as an effect, I sense a growing resentment towards me. And on a deep level, I sense resentment from me for their attempts to engage me in these unskillful behaviors. All of this creates a feeling of sadness as I feel I can no longer provide them with my old self or meet their needs in some fashion. The relationships are changing and on some level, they no longer serve them/me. I feel myself mourning the changes and the passing of friends as a kind of death which is bittersweet in that I am sad that we no longer share the closeness as before but also understand that I have new friends and relationships to look forward to on the path.

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4 years ago