tldr: my bestfriend kissed me. got confused. before she migrate to other country, we made a deal that if we reached 30 and still single, we will marry each other. when she migrated, we just talked a little for years. she met her bf and later her fiance.

di ko alam saang subreddit ko ilalabas tong thoughts, feelings, and pag reminisce ng memories na to. pero sige dito na lang.

to my bestfriend, im happy for you na you will get married soon. but idk how to feel if to cherish our past moments or not. but im still happy for you.

naalala mo ba nung naging crush kita noong first year high school naten? natatawa ako kase nung di na kita crush saka chismis ng mga kaklase natin crush mo pala ako. but it's okay, ang kapalit pala nun eh magiging magbestfriends tayo together with others and kayo naging part ng highschool life ko.

naalala mo ba nung college days natin na pumunta ako ng baguio to visit my gf? di ko alam ang baguio nun at syempre dun ka rin nagaaral eh sinundo mo ko at tinour mo ako sa baguio dahil inaantay ko pa gf ko. sobrang thankful ako kasi di ako nawala sa baguio nun. text messages pa uso nun at di pa uso google maps. hirap kaya nun. pero alam mo di ko makalimutan nun? that was the first time you held my hand. buong pagtour mo sa akin sa baguio, hawak mo lang kamay ko. di ko alam kung mafefeel ko nun pero since i have gf that time and bestfriend naman kita, di ko pinansin yun. alam mo na uso naman ang hug sa atin magmula highschool pa.

things changed nung 18th birthday mo. ang saya natin magkakaibigan nun. at the same time malungkot kasi bilang na yung araw mo sa pinas. we got drunk. at ikaw binuhat pa kita papunta sa room. i do clearly remember your voice asking if I am already single which i answered yes since wala naman na kami ng gf ko. and after that, you kissed me. and shocked ako. i don't know how to react. but ayun pinahiga kita at inayos para maging comfortable ka matulog. niyakap mo pa nga yung stuff toy na gift ko.

did you remember you kissed me again that night? after mo magising, lumabas ng room at magrant sa akin ng mga problems mo. and after that, binuhat kita ule papuntang room. then gusto mo tabihan kita. you talked about your college crush. and you kissed me. and sabi mo iniimagine mo yung college crush mo. naconfuse ako at hindi ako makatulog that night while buong nasa room tulog na tulog.

after that day, you just acted that nothing happens. you just told me to forget what you did with no explanation. but i'm still confused. and i just kept it on myself.

few days before you leave, we are always visiting you at your house to hangout but sometimes it is just me crashing at your place. watching movies and series and talk randomly until 12am. ending, sa inyo na rin ako natutulog. pero wala akong lakas ng loob tanungin about that kiss.

our last hangout was at the beach. kaso talksht yung isa nating bestfriend eh yun pala plano niya na iwanan tayong dalawa para makapagusap. honestly, sakanya ako nagaask ng advices if di ko na lang papansinin yung kiss na yun or not.

ako di ko alam mangyayari but we just talked randomly like we used to be. until we opened up about that kiss. you said that was your true feelings. you said that we are bestfriend and i can be your potential partner. but not now since aalis ka and you don't want me to keep waiting and hurt me.

we cried and we kissed while watching the sunset. we hold our hands like we are cherishing our last moments. before we go back home, we made a deal that if we are still single at 30s, we will marry each other. after that day, we met again just to return your favorite book and we just said goodbyes.

we just talk a little since you migrated to other country. i know you are busy. also you told me that you have a boyfriend and i am so happy for you. ans now you just called me that you boyfriend proposed to you.

that's all.

p.s. sana naintindihan niyo. buhos lang ng damdamin. sorry if may mga wrong grammers na rin.