My husband has a colleague- let's call him Nick- I have known about for quite some time.  We live in a small community and he is quite a "celebrity" as he owns a local health store and is a fitness guru who gets around the community.  He is married.

I have seen him from afar a few times and of course you can't miss him as he is very buff and always with his shirt off or tight clothing but he was not really my type so never ogled nor cared.  We met after 2 years my husband has known him-this summer while walking on the beach.  I was in a dress and sunglasses he and his wife swimsuits (they are both very fit and muscular).  I noticed he was very rude to me and barely said hello/did not want to give any attention to me.  I shrugged it off but it was confusing as my husband always mentioned how amazingly kind he is and outgoing.  I did notice his wife was super cool and open so I enjoyed our one minute chat.

My husband and I have been in a bit of a lull lately.  While we love each other, he has been checking out other women and it just seems like so much effort is needed to have the intimacy between us in the last year.  It's just been an up and down roller coaster with him all year- arguing about how I need him to show me more that he loves me etc etc... and we have young children so of course things are busy and not easy to reconnect right now.  However I'd say the month of October we did connect quite a bit and he is making more of an effort after his 40th birthday in late September where  I surprised him and we went away with friends and family.

So in October he has an intimate birthday dinner with friends/colleagues where we live- and, at the dinner, I was seated next to the wife and across from Nick.  At first, Nick again was extremely tense and rude.  But I started to mention to his wife and the table how we went to Europe for my husband's birthday and how we love to travel and he suddenly woke up.  We also discovered we will both also be 40 this coming summer and we have a birthday 5 days apart.  Since these two facts were shared, he was suddenly VERY intrigued and gave me LOADS of attention.  

I talked with Nick and his wife all night and he continued asking questions about me.  We finished the night with an idea that we would host the next "wine night" which Nick had never been invited to but involved my husband's colleagues and boss- a really snobby crowd.  Nick was thrilled for this idea.  I ran into Nick picking my husband up at work one day and he waved at me from afar with a huge smile.  I was relieved he smiled because I felt I talked way too much that first night and it turned them off but it seemed he was very happy to see me!

Right after that first night he apparently booked a short trip to Europe for he and his wife because I inspired him to do so with my husband's bday trip. 

Cut to "wine night" I was very nervous about this night as it was the snobby crowd.  So when everyone arrives they greet us and everyone is telling me how great I look- I wore a skirt and a blazer but I usually dress up anyway so I dont know why that was a big deal.  Nick didnt say anything but stared and gave me a big hug.

I then notice that Nick is staring at me NON STOP. he continued following me with his eyes everywhere i went (to take care of my kids, to go upstairs downstairs) to pour the glasses...etc.I am then talking to someone and we are far from the others.  My arms are folded behind me, at my back.  Nick walks behind me and says "excuse me" (there was space so I dont know why he came behind me) when he did, he grabs my forearm and squeezes it.I have NO IDEA why but I grabbed his arm back!  I did not even understand why I did that but I continued chatting with the person and thought nothing of it. 

later I tried to ignored him.  He continued to say things like "we have similar birthdays". " we are the only ones here from the same country" etc.  and I would change the subject.I was enjoying the attention of course, I mean he is a good looking guy and is admiring me which I dont feel often by my husband but I did not want to be disrespectful so I kept things very simple and non-flirtatious.

I planned wine quizzes with prizes for the evening, and everyone was very engaged it turned out to be a really great night filled with laughs.  I was chatting alot to his wife and he would join in quite a bit.  He was telling me we need to go to Europe together and that we should do this..or that.. etc.  I can understand him saying all this as we all really get along.   

At one point when I got up he went to sit in my seat so he could sit next to my husband.  I sat in his seat and I noticed he was drinking my water and then realized and then shrugged and continued to drink.

He asked me many questions throughout the night and even was going through my youtube music playlist and playing my music ...entertaining all of it.. he was loving it and entertaining everything I said and did.  

At one point everyone left but them and I said let's play some games!  So we were playing some word games and, between games, my husband went somewhere and his wife went to the washroom and let's say a backstreet boy song came on and I said "oh wait for this part" and he said "what's the name of the singer here?" and I said, with a sigh and strong pronunciation "Nick!" I then saw his face and realized his name is also Nick!

his face was a little shocked he had his mouth open looking up at me and he swallowed...and then quickly I said "oh that's funny, your name is Nick! too funny"

and he said something like "oh I only know AJ" I said "oh yes, of course",

anyway we continued on enjoying the evening for another let's say 20 minutes and then he fell asleep so his wife said "ok we need to go" so they left and when they did he hugged me and then he squeezed me so tight. They left and I thought nothing of it at all until the next day when it all started coming back to me...and I can't stop thinking about him.

Before I get a lecture, I am not going to act on anything.  I do love the attention, I am not going to lie- but I would never hurt or disrespect anyone intentionally.  I have honestly never experienced this sort of thing before.  I do get attention here and there from men because I take care of myself and like to look my best on the regular but I dont think about it so it is not like I am searching for this but I am just kind of taken aback by it all ...he seems so attentive so cool and very similar to myself... we are both quite adventurous and love to travel, he is outgoing and has a great sense of humour...but I am not thinking anything of it as I can see he can be a bit controlling with his wife and they are a great team. Also, my husband and I work well together as a couple...but anyway, I am wondering if maybe I'm misinterpreting this? Maybe he just is kind of admiring me as a friend and person and that's it? He did tell his wife that she and I had a connection.. but I don't know, the way he looked at me after the "Nick" seemed like he felt he was being seduced...so I don't know..anyway, how should I proceed with this and what do you think is going on?