Hey there! It’s me—just your average, mildly disappointing guy in his 40s, trying to bring a little excitement to this midlife thing. I’ve got a pretty good average life: married, kids (loud, kind of gross but lovable), and a dog who pretends to listen when I talk, and two cats secretly plotting to off me. So, naturally, I thought, “What better way to spice things up than to post on the internet and see if someone out there has a higher tolerance for my nonsense?”

Let’s get the truth out there:

• I’m not a gym bro. I lift, sure, but mostly it’s groceries, my kids’ backpacks, and my dignity after I trip over nothing. • I’d describe my physique as “dad bod with a side of snacks.” I’m working on it, but progress is slow—like, “watching-paint-dry” slow. • I’m funny. Not “stand-up comedian” funny, but “accidentally makes a mess and turns it into a story” funny. • I enjoy hikes… if they’re mostly flat and end at a place with food. I’m looking for someone fun, easygoing, and maybe a little sarcastic who doesn’t mind chatting with a guy who overthinks everything and occasionally laughs too hard at his own jokes. I’m not here to save the world, just looking for someone who gets that life is weird, messy, and sometimes better with a random internet friend who knows how to banter. No promises, no pressure—just me, trying to pretend I have my act together while secretly Googling “how to be less awkward.” If you’re still reading, congrats! You’ve either got a high tolerance for mediocrity or you’re just bored. Either way, message me and let’s see if we can make each other laugh. Or at least cringe. That’s also a win in my book. Definitely would love someone who’s nearby and is interested in meeting up or someone who likes to talk on the phone instead of texting all the time.