Married 12 years. Sex life has had an "ebb and flow" to it. Not counting the last couple of months due to us moving, the inconsistency has been an ongoing issue for me. But my wife has had some medical issues to go through, and I've supported her through it all.

Just a little backstory.

I feel like when I flirt, my attempts don't "land". I dont get that positive reaction out of her that lets me know she likes the attention. I've tried various things, from the romantic to the vulgar, and I get the same response - either she doesn't respond at all or she deflects with jokes. I've tried talking to her about it multiple times and I've never gotten a straight answer from her about whether I make her feel uncomfortable, what specific things she'd like to hear, etc. I just shoot my shot, get shut down or deflected, and then I'm left feeling dejected. Even feeling like a creep, sometimes. At that point, I just don't try for a while. And, she never flirts with me in that way at all. The most intimate thing she has said to me is she's called me "cute" - nothing more intimate than that at all. I really do yearn for more. I've talked to her about it, I've talked to my therapist about how to deal with these feelings.

How do you feel when you flirt with your partner and they don't respond to it - either by stonewalling or by deflecting to another subject? Do you keep trying or do you back off and give them space?