Ok. So, first - a little back story.

We've been suffering from her libido issues since December 2007, when she first revealed to me she was pregnant with our daughter. Ever since then, we've had sex maybe once per month. Sometimes there's an upshift in activity (once we went 3 times per week) and sometimes there's a downshift (as much as 3 months without anything).

My wife had a Mirena IUD installed in September 2016 due to fibroids, and has had complications with it ever since. So, except for two HJs, we haven't had sex since then - 4 months and counting.

About a week ago I had a conversation with her about this and tried to be as compassionate and understanding as possible. She said the situation is frustrating her, but, and I quote, "alternatives aren't out of the question" (along with a hand gesture to suggest HJs).

She hasn't touched me since.

My question is this - how do I ask for alternative sex that she claims to be willing to do for me, without coming off like a creep or asshole?