My son came in and asked me that last night. Warning - definite dad joke alert. And no cheating by googling it. Let's chat and I'll give you the answer.

Here is how I'd describe myself:
- 48 years old, 5'9" blue eyes, caucasian

- I'm in decent shape. I'm not a sloth, but I'm not going to win an Ironman race. I go with my kids to the gym 5 days a week. I like to lift because it makes me feel good, not because I'm a gym bro.

- I live in suburbia next a big city. I like the things a city has to offer, but I also love the outdoors and the solitude that can only be found at 9000ft plus elevation in the mountains. There isn't much better than being the only person around next to a lake high up in the mountains with nothing but your thoughts and beautiful scenery. Even better if said lake is full of fish that are biting.

- I am married with 3 teenage kids and a dog. I love my kids and do a lot with them. I'm an active dad and we have fun, but I also enjoy teaching them life lessons and helping coach them through the rough patches.

- Like many on here, my marriage isn't terrible but it also has its issues. I'm not going to drone on to you about those issues or complain about it. You aren't looking for that. You have your own issues and you want some positive. I'm here to provide that positive. That doesn't mean we don't get real, but my focus is on you and I don't think a guy should be looking for a woman to play therapist. Having said that, I'm more than happy to be a listening ear to your stuff. I like helping and I like listening. It makes me feel good to make someone else feel better.

- If I meet the right person, I'm looking for longer term. I'm not looking for short term entertainment. Meeting in person eventually would be nice.

- Please no one from outside the United States. I love you all, and the Swedes we met this summer were all fantastic people, but I'm not doing international, even Canada (while I enjoy watching hockey, I'm not really a hockey fan. Sorry). For those of you in the UK, your food sucks anyway (although I will admit that British lady on PBS, Mary Bary, really knows her stuff and makes some great dishes).

- My sports are football, basketball, and baseball in that order

- Please be over 35.

- I realize this is a sensitive topic, but I'll be upfront about expectations. There should be physical attraction and sexual chemistry between us. That doesn't mean the woman I meet has to be a perfect model. I'm not perfect, so how can I ask for that? But we need to be attracted to each other. That can come in many forms, so I'm not going to attach a requirements list. In terms of sex, I've read some of the posts and every woman complains about guys who bring that up too quickly. That's not something I'm going to do. There is a fine balance between reading your cues and knowing when the right time and place is, and I think I've got enough common sense to read that balance while at the same time leading out when appropriate and initiating. Vanilla or freaky, I'll go with your flavor, but either way there does need to be that spark between us eventually.

- Here are some suggested ice breaker topics we can engage in if you feel like it's hard to come up with things - Travel (in the US or outside. I've been to a lot of places and love talking about all of them). Why a movie I just saw for the first time (Logan Lucky) has me wondering why I didn't see it sooner and why it's so amazing. Interstellar is another movie I love talking about. If you are really smart and know a lot about astrophysics, please enlighten me. I'd love to hear. Challenges in your life you've tackled. I LOVE inspirational stories about normal people who have done something hard and had a victory. It could be physical, It could be something else. Bizarre and crazy stories. This could include crimes you've committed, fights breaking out in public you didn't expect, the time you swear you saw a UFO or other conspiracy theories. Bonus if you are nurse or Uber driver. They always have the best ones. I want to hear something that will shock me. New Year's resolutions.

- I'm an open book. There aren't too many topics off limits with me.

Ok. If that isn't enough information to start things off, I don't know what to tell you because I just wrote a whole freaking novel.