I'm a married 25 black female, married to a 33 black male, we have always shared a very vanilla sex life. When I fantasize it's always a soft dom type scenario with a much older overweight white man or woman who I'm not attracted to, strange? Maybe I don't know but it is what it is.

I do find my husband attractive and although he doesn't completely align with my fantasy I have recently tried to work with him to make our relationship better. Maybe it's my fault as I've always acted the prim and proper type early in our relationship, a bit bossy and selfish too. This is the person he believes I was so now when I encourage him to become dominant in a sexual way he just covers his embarrassment by saying he don't want to be with a whore. I want to continue my marriage but I also seek a secret relationship to fulfil my needs.