Hello! And welcome to pause Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm Flailing Tube Man Park. Population: One. It's me. I fucked up. I don't know how to put my arms down. Please help, or send help.

This place is a bit of a shit show, but here I am, once again, looking for love in all the wrong places. I'm a full time stay at home dad (sahd), so that comes with a full house, but a lot of loneliness, but like, not in the pitiful/sad kinda way. I just need some adult interaction and attention. I have a lot of free time and would enjoy someone to pour myself into, while also being poured into myself.

A little about me: I'm exactly what you've been searching for for so long. Funny. Smart. Knows how to hold a conversation. Doesn't trust the government. Has plenty of free time. Smells good... I'm the one, and you should already be swooning. 🥰 A little more: I'm 29, white, 6'2, a newly pierced septum, bearded (and mustachioed? I'm not sure if that's assumed or not), glasses, tattooed, with an offensive lineman build, but I'm actively taking care of myself, and am considered generally pretty attractive by more people than is truly good for my ego. I'm a nerd and emo kid at heart. But I'm pretty well rounded. I'd use the term 'Alternative', but I was raised in the South, so I can fix your car or build a barn, so something closer to 'Y'allternative' is probably more appropriate.

I have a myriad of interests, including but not limited to photography, hiking (as long as it can facilitate said photography), video games (currently Marvel Rivals, and Cyberpunk 2077 when I get mad at it), anime, cryptids, conspiracy theories, true crime, horror movies, bingeing too many TV series (currently it's mainly just Dexter, for the first time), graphic design, homesteading, so on and so forth. Anything that can keep my ADHD-riddled brain captivated for a bit, I'll do. I'm a homebody with a yearning for exploration and adventure. As I said, we'll rounded. 😇

I'm self-proclaimingly intelligent while being able to recognize that I'm a dumbass, probably a little too confident (to a fault, honestly), and just an all around happy, silly fella, with a penchant towards run on sentences. I can get along with most anybody, and I've found that most people seem to like me, probably due to being a people-pleaser, also to a fault.

Let me call you cute. Make you laugh. Be the long distance love interest that you wish you'd found earlier in life. I'm not afraid to catch feelings. I'm a lover, and I like making people feel loved. And contrary to some, clingy/needy partners don't scare me.

Now onto some of the more ✨juicy✨ bits. I just like to include this part for everyone's sake. If you're looking for someone with a big ol' tallywacker, because you don't have it at home, then look elsewhere, because I'm aggressively average. While I'm not looking for a strictly sexual relationship, I'm a very sexual person and will flirt with anyone and everyone, even a brick wall. I'm a very open person, and don't get embarrassed easily, so don't be afraid to come at me with whatever you might wanna say.

Most importantly, please be able to hold a conversation (and put some effort into your initial message, otherwise I probably won't respond). I absolutely can, but I've found that doesn't always go both ways. Similar interests will definitely help. I tend match energies, so if you're boring, I will be too. 🤷‍♀️ You also need to be okay with me sending you, what some might consider, too many tiktoks and songs that make me think about you, and maybe pictures of my cats, if we get that far.

I'm not incredibly picky about looks or age, hell, I'm not even that picky about gender, however at least a base level of attraction on both sides is important, so I'd prefer to trade pics early on, and then move somewhere else, once comfortable. Discord or Telegram are preferable, but you can probably convince me to download something else.

My sleep schedule is pretty fluid, so your location isn't a huge deal, but I'm EST (Georgia, USA, specifically, but NW of Atlanta 😎), if that matters to you. With that being said, for the right person, I'll try to make it work, but being on the other side of the world can be hard to swing at times.

If I didn't scare you off, give me another chance to scare you off and shoot me a message. 😈