I’m honestly at a loss on what to say. Basic bio stuff first I suppose: 38, male, married (duh) not looking to change that, PST time zone, and just missing…oh intimacy, friendship, feeling like I’m even in a relationship, thinking I’m on someones mind.

Why am I here tonight of all nights? I guess I just realized how little I mean in the world. That’s probably a bit melodramatic but eh. I’m the one in the relationship that picks presents months in advance, tries to plan things with the eldest kid (gingerbread decorating, movies and hot cocoa, light the fireplace up and spend a few hours playing games, etc), sets the decorations up, hangs the lights, and puts it all away for next year. I don’t mean to sound petty but this year just…sucked. I tried to pick out gifts my spouse and kids would like. They were appreciated. I had three…two really. A ‘Unicorse’ puppet that my kiddo promptly claimed (that’s fine we can share), a lightsaber for dueling with same kiddo because they love it and the prior plastic saber had a tragic, duel related accident, and a Van Gogh Pikachu…because I love Van Gogh art and this was a nifty nerd thing that appealed to my inner child. All picked by me, all wrapped by me, and it felt hollow. My spouse said later she’d thought of something but it was out of budget so she gave up. I just felt numb. And now I’m just tossing a pebble into the stream to see what happens. Probably nothing but who knows.

I’m sardonic, sarcastic at times, generally a glass half full person, and one of those weird introverts that likes people right until the social battery goes dead. I can chat for hours about anything and nothing, enjoy my 1-2 hours of gym time 5x a week, working on my project car, casual gaming (GT7 and helldivers), and reading. I’ve got dogs that we rescued off someone’s porch (long story), hike in the mornings, and am a professional worker. Generally my time is my own at work, less so when at home and on the weekends.

I’m looking for someone who wants to develop a long term friend. If you’re in the same dead bedroom relationship situation, yay…misery does so like company and I’m happy to commiserate. Not interested in spouse bashing, just acknowledging yep it sucks, vent as needed, etc. I’d prefer to focus on developing a friendship and seeing where things go, but I know we all must vent at times…see above for exhibit a.

I’m frankly not sure what else to say. I’m fine trading SFW pics. Prefer starting on Reddit before going to a diff platform. Telegram is a no.

Merry Christmas (or Happy Holidays if you prefer).