First post, been lurking. Gonna put what I’m looking for first:

YOU ARE:

-straight male 27-33

-USA, est or cst preferred

-white or black (blondes to the front!!)

-tall-ish? Over 5’10”

-not skinny, not overweight, not super muscular. Average bod, like you’re decently fit, strong, AND eat bread lol

-Not religious or conservative

-I like my men masculine and maybe rugged? Beards are awesome, nothing too crazy though

-No long hair, but a little overgrown like you’ll be getting a haircut soon is fine

-just the state trooper ‘stashe and no beard, I’ll pass

-relatively stylish if you’re gonna send me full body or day pics

-like to talk, even type in paragraphs, but also you sound real and not like HR is sending me an email

-Married or LTR, and have kid(s)

-SANE and normal and respectful

-Charismatic, hilarious (NOT corny but sometimes that’s ok lol), sweet

-are AVAILABLE even at home and can communicate when you won’t be or even if you’re just having a bad day and don’t want to talk right now. Being left on delivered for 10 hours sucks lol

-emotionally intelligent

-420 and alcohol friendly

-KINKY when it gets to that part (also love decent/big Ds with decent girth but don’t show me in the DMs please)

-Confident and dominant

-willing to be online EXCLUSIVE and have me as your only chat partner(even though there’s no way to prove you are lol)

ME:

-black American, my husband is white (only mentioning in case that gives someone more courage to shoot their shot lol)

-east coast USA

-5’5", roughly 110lbs right now but trying to work on getting to 130 haha

-sahm of 1 preschooler, haven’t worked in 2 years

-420 user, nothing else

-have been wanting to do a comedy open mic set and karaoke for the longest time, but I get too nervous lol

-people love my humor and I’d say I’m pretty likeable

-I like to talk a lot if you get me started and the vibe is good

-pretty available to have a little crush on someone lol

-not looking to sext immediately, I like the slow burn of feeling more attracted to you and wanting to progress things naturally

-I’m confident I’m attractive, you can see that later

-I ONLY have SNAPCHAT

-Anything else about me you can ask in the DM if you meet my qualifications but maybe I’m missing some of yours!

What I’m looking for TODAY:

Cute guy to get to know while I have a drink or two and eat leftovers and watch tv with my kid while husband is working for the next 4 hours or so. We slept in, and the day is flying by already.

What I’m looking for long-term?:

Morning texts, goodnight texts, candid pics, random pics and thoughts, talking about current events or pop culture, not afraid to say “I like you!!”, swapping memes or tik toks, maybe screenshotting and sharing stupid posts we come across on reddit, just fun and then sexy entertainment but we both know it’s not going anywhere and we’re okay with just being online friends with benefits. You know how it goes.