I guess it’s one of those nights where you are just laying in your bed thinking about what ifs. How different would life be if we did divorce? I tell myself that I would engage in all the sex I feel like I’ve missed being in this marriage. That I would travel enjoy someone everywhere I went and try all the things I want to try. But I know that wouldn’t happen. I want to believe the grass would be greener but I doubt it would be. It’s all a fantasy. And I feel like that’s all I can do, fantasize. I tried to eat my wife out tonight and I got denied. That shit sucks and hurts. I know sex isn’t the most essential but when you’re constantly denied, turned down, and left with blue balls. It starts to feel very important. I would love to suffocate myself between someone’s legs, but once again it’s only a fantasy.
I know it doesn’t make sense. I’m just venting. Thank you for reading.
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