Hello - I am 45, 5'10", 170 lbs, black hair, fit, looks well below my age. Well groomed, well read, well travelled professional w high growth career, Seattle eastside. <brag alert> I am told I am handsome, conventionally attractive, easy to talk to, respectful and carries myself well (and no, these are not from my mom, but potential APs)

I am married with DB, because of libido mismatch. If you are living it, sorry, I know the pain. I have found relief before. However, my AP moved, it was painful but both of us were glad we had that time together. Now trying to recreate those moments for myself.

Re-seeking AP, who is also married and needing a secret boyfriend.

I am not interested in any money exchanging hands, anyone below 35 and changing my/your situation.

Here is whats important to me

Mutual Attraction: Let’s be real, attraction is key. I’m not just here for the “in and out” (unless it’s an “in and out” of a grocery store). I’m looking for genuine chemistry—the kind that makes us both feel like we’ve found the perfect teammate in a doubles match (yes, I am into sports and use sports metaphor quite liberally). I am no body builder or George Clooney, but I take care of myself (inside and outside) I am looking for the same. Someone who takes care of themselves and are comfortable in their own skin. Knowing what one wants and expressing it, is a big turn on for me.

Emotional Availability: I want someone who checks in daily and is emotionally available. I’ll be your emotional cheerleader, minus the cheesy pom-poms (but with extra support). I want to hear your pains, disappointments, frustrations, anger. I also want to hear your upbeat and magical moments which makes you shine. I love to chat philosophy and psychology and people.

Respect for Boundaries: Boundaries are essential. Think of me as the respectful ninja of the dating world. I’ll be there for you, but without the surprise visits—just steady, reliable support. I’ll check in with a “Hey, how’s your day?” and maybe a dad joke or two to keep things light. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field! I know you are looking for second life where you can be you. Expect it from me. your primary and secondary life wont cross over. That said, I have fallen for my AP before. I know the pain of separation. I have grown as a human with that experience. And I would recreate that in a heardbeat for the right person.

Shared Desires: You want to explore different kinks and let that inner “nasty girl” shine (in the best possible way). I’m all in for that adventure. Just think of me as the partner who’s excited to dive into this exploration with you—no judgment, just enthusiasm. What do you call someone who steals energy? A thief!

Realistic and Discreet: I’ve got a full life with its own set of challenges (like balancing parenting, navigating inflation, and finding the best times on pickleball court with least amount of wait). So, I’m here to offer a discreet, balanced connection without adding any extra stress. I have figured out a tight OPSEC (with my previous AP) that doesnt compromise weekly/monthly in-person and remote availabilities and logistics to go with it. Speaking of pickleball, Why did the pickleball player bring a ladder to the game? To reach new heights in their serve!

If you’re open to it, I’d love to explore this connection further and see if we can make each other’s lives a little more exciting and a lot more fulfilling. Let’s make this a secret adventure that’s as thrilling as it is satisfying.

Looking forward to hearing from you, and in the meantime, here’s hoping for a day where inflation and parenting don’t make us feel like we’re in a never-ending pickleball match!

PS: Pls excuse my overt expression of humor via jokes. I know few of them are misplaced. Work in progress.

PPS: I am aware, as a girl you likely get tons of messages, get hit a lot and have options to pick the right one. Chat with me and weed me out by asking straight up questions via chat/audio/video call. It would take 5 minutes or less to see if we are each others type over telegram/signal. I wont take any offense if we are not, be to the point and respectful of your time.