So ive been seeing a lot of posts on here about how did she/he already know? Ive accepted myself, ehats my next step? Told my wife/husband (gf/bf) now what? How do I go on from here? Etc. Etc. It can,be a confusing thing for an individual, and confusion added when a current relationship is involved (hetero or homo, married or not) for the individual AND the partner. After years of reading such posts, and my own personal analysis of myself and what a person and/or a relationship needs, ive come to a few different conclusions.

To preface my own story. Been married 7 years now. Dated for about 1 1/2 before that. Came out to my wife about 2 years into our marriage. Didnt reallynfully accept it myself until then, eventhough I knew. We had many long conversations. Took a lot of reassuring her of our relationship and my committment to our marriage. But she was open and accepting the entire time, regardless. She obviously had fears that she wasnt enough, or I would leave for a guy, or maybe I was gay (happened to her,beat friends mom). Nontheless we talked and worked throigh it all amd are in a good place. Many things have to happen though.

1. Being bi is A PART of who you are, NOT your entire identity. If its all you are, then you have bigger personal problems to figure out. Coming out can be empowering and overwhelming and all those things. But its still just a part of you. Who you are as a person, an employee or business owner, father or mother, partner, friend, etc. makes you YOU. Bi, straight, gay, trans, or other.

2. Your relationship with your partner absolutely comes first. You need to support them as much as you expect them to aupport you. There are many convwrsations that will probably need to be had. You will news to decide if, regardless how they feel, you want to continue the relationship. Theyve invested as much in you as you have them. Most likely anyways. Dont play games. Be honest with eachother. The result may not be what YOU want, but YOU have to figure out how to accept it. Good or bad, youre not the person they started the relationship with.

3. If your partner is not "ok" with it, what does that mean for you and for your relationship? Is it something you can keep suppressed because the relationship means that much to you? Is your partner ok with you being that way but not acting on it? Again, another difficult conversation. And a difficult internal conversation. Hard decisions may have to be made.

4. What if your partner is ok with it, and supports you exploring, but has rules? Well, follow the rules and if they suddenly change their mind, its convo time again. You didnt choose to be this way, but you chose the relationship.

5. What if your partner is ok with you exploring more, but wants to "open"? Well again, convo time. Might have to find a compromise.

2.2 "Well ive come out, what do i do now?" You dknt,have to do anything. Is coming out enoigh for you? Do you feel the need to explore? What feels most important to you? What can you most happily live with?

End of the day. Theres more to you than just being bi. Be honest. Comprimise. Be understanding. And be true to yourself. You can tell the world if you want to. Or you dont have to tell anyone. Its up to you.