Hey all, first one poster. Been married for nearly 25 years, together for 27. It’s been a blast. We are in our early 50s, Two feisty funky teenagers, lived on different continents for more than a decade each, we have had a rich and wonderful relationship. Sexually we haven’t been active for more than 3 years. Lack of interest from me, shitty sleep habits from her and a raging menopause has put pay to this. The lack of intimacy has created a lack of affection, mainly from me.

She found me chatting to guys on a few apps. Covid has escalated my want to find an escape. She was brave enough to ask me, and I was finally brave enough to tell her I am bi.

I love her, but kinda feel like I need to explore other sexual avenues as I am not sure I can bring this one back. I don’t want to lose her either. We are best friends, and have plans to grow old together. She is not as sexually interested as I am, and I am concerned that even if I get permission to go on a journey of discovery she will resent me for being a passenger on a journey she doesn’t really want to go on.

At the same time, she was a virgin when we married. I want her to experiment and experience other flavors too. I am not sure I have given her what she needed sexually, and that this may also be part of our sexual relationship ending. She has commented on what she finds sexy in a guy, and it’s not a copy of me. In fact, it is quite polar opposite. I have told her she should feel that if we go on this journey, it could be hers too.

I am wondering if there are folks on here who continued to have a wonderful relationship with their spouses even though they knew they couldn’t or didn’t want to satisfy them sexually any longer. What keeps you together and how did you figure out your arrangement?

My next steps are to find a psychologist so I can better understand who I am and and what I really want and to continue to communicate which is tough for me as I have hidden so much of me for so long.

I so appreciate this community. I have been lurking in Reddit for ages. Now I know why. Sunday changed our relationship forever.