The topic for discussion is: am I here as a result of porn addiction, which I believe to be a real thing that can lead to more extreme sexual preferences? Or am I simply accepting something I’ve always suspected, but have been deeply ashamed and avoidant of?

Roughly 1 or 2 years ago I started wondering where I land on the continuum of human sexuality? Cuckold porn has been a mainstay for me for many years, for which I’ve also felt shame and hid from all partners in my life. Over time I have felt the draw to more heteroflexible positions like the husband and wife in 69 with a man fucking in doggy, and then MMF 3somes. I now go through cycles where all I want to do is suck cock. And the urges are very strong.

Last night I went down on my wife and started cumming hands free because I think she and pussy is so sexy. Then in the shower this morning, the thought of rubbing my dick on another popped in my head and when I imagined taking it into my mouth and it cumming on my lips, I burst and felt such desire.

Even as an adolescent, every once in awhile I would get that warm, ASMR feeling around certain guys, but have always been laser focused on women and never ever allowed myself to consider any sexual activity with a man.

I wonder now which is causing these crazy desires. To me it matters because if it is some addiction, I should get a handle on it. On the other hand, I hate the idea of giving into the shame around flexible sexuality that was forced into my head by strict religion and mainstream cultural attitudes. I would not guess I’m the only one here with this question.