For a bit of background, pre-kids my wife and I led a very kinky lifestyle and had the approach of try anything once (within reason). This led me to start experimenting with anal which was never her thing but she occasionally entertained it.

After kids time and her lack of sex drive naturally got in the way and anal play became a purely solo experience. Whenever I would decide to play (whether it be when conveniently cleaning the shower or just when she wasn’t in the mood) I was always met with cold indifference and a bit of a guilt trip because she “wasn’t able to help” me get off. She also said it made her insecure because she didn’t know what I was doing or if anyone else was involved (they weren’t and I’ve always made it clear she is welcome to watch/join)

Naturally this translated to shame and disgust within my brain and felt like a “don’t ask don’t tell” type situation. She wasn’t interested in hearing about it and didn’t want details. Couple this with some off hand comments about her worried it would turn me gay (she finds guy on guy off putting) it’s always felt very taboo in our relationship.

To my surprise the other morning after I had a session she actually asked how it was and what toys I had used. Was a bit of a shock to have her show some interest in it. Was even more of a shock when I told her she was welcome to join and her response was “maybe, but no promises”. I know this sounds like a small thing, but I feel like it’s a big leap in the right direction to her understanding and accepting me more. In time I would like to tell her about my bisexual thoughts and desires, but that’s still a way off.