This post has been de-listed
It is no longer included in search results and normal feeds (front page, hot posts, subreddit posts, etc). It remains visible only via the author's post history.
I(25f) asked my husband(25m) a few days ago what he would like for me to change or do sexually for sex to be better. As in is there anything I do or don't do that makes you unhappy... he said he wishes I be a more active participant during sex and as simple as that statement was, it hit me like a ton of bricks. I've been called a star fish once before. But mostly I have given given GIVEN of myself to the point where sex was simply an act for me and I was disconnected from the sensations completely.
I gave so much to my ex-husband. I gave him blowjobs, I helped him learn about anal, I was dominant, I teased, I did all sorts of things for him. He did for me too albeit at a slightly lesser extent. Then just like I was a piece of used tissue he left me as if it meant nothing. Blocked me and let his mom handle the divorce for him. And afterwards I became completely selfish. I don't give blowjobs unless I enthusiastically want to which can be rare. Maybe once a month if that. I try new things with my husband but I clam up and end up not trying it more than once or twice. I push away his advances at times. I lay there and let him eat me out or do the one position I cum in. Sex for me is simply getting an orgasm from him.
I love him so much. He means nearly the world to me(secondary to my sons, one of which I had before I met him). He cares for me, works so hard for me. I try to care for him. I maintain our house in ways to make his life better. I cook food for him nearly every day. I get him little gifts here and there, I make sure to cuddle him and hug him because physically affection is his love language. I try to show my love through acts of service a lot because that's my love language. But despite all this love, I am sitting here so devastated to know he only likes sex with me. He doesn't love it. He wants me to be less selfish. My words, not his... and I feel really strongly that I don't know if I care to be less selfish. And I think ultimately it's because I don't want to get my heart broken again and have given so much of myself that I feel used again.
I'm wondering if anyone has gone through this and been able to make a positive adjustment?
Subreddit
Post Details
- Posted
- 2 years ago
- Reddit URL
- View post on reddit.com
- External URL
- reddit.com/r/Marriage/co...