I understand everyones situation is different, and I know there are many reasons why a marriage wont or cant work, but in the end I can only tell you of mine. It was my first marriage and I badly wanted to fix the issues that tore it apart. In the end I couldnt, and if I may I will share my story in hopes that someone, somewhere might get something from it that they may use to help them in a bind. All of this is truthful and as it all went. I was 48 when I started dating someone much younger than me, she was 26. We hit it off really fast and the lovebombing was incredible. The stars aligned and poof - before we knew it we talked about getting married and so we did. It was awesome. Age wasnt a thing then for us because we had found love and ran with it. Both of us had not ever veen married up to that point. We had money and we launched into a flurry of plans like get a place together, and we got all the things we needed to start. All was fine, at first...until my wife's anxiety disorder and bi-polar disorder started to weigh in on her. I didnt understand or see what began happening until it was too late to act. 4 months after we got our house together, she wanted to go spend a night or two with her mom and dad and of course I was supportive and encouraged her to go for a day or two. But that quickly turned into more days, then more...until her coming home wasnt going to happen. She had essentially moved out...and I felt like a loser...I was broken. She did not say it was because of something I did or did not do, and she never said it was permanent. I felt alone. She began to only come for visits until finally she admitted she didnt like the place we got. Even though we decided on it together. Months went by and I continued to try to be a good husband as she lived with her parents. Then one day I ask about us getting a different house...she tells me that she will always be better off living with her parents. I am devastated and completely confused at this point. Time goes by and finally I have adapted to being married but living alone but it is sapping the life out of me because I cant have the one person by my side now. Mid year she finally meets a long lost cousin and suddenly I am asking why our time together is gone and she gets defensive...even ignores my days off work when we usually do things together because her cousin is around. I start feeling jealous and even angry, but afraid to say much. Bad for me Soon my wife starts taking part in a group of people who are noisemakers and flag waving patriots and spending time being involved with their activities. I struggle to be supportive but feel almost abandoned now, even people who know me are beginning to ask me things and worry because Im not myself. I try as hard as I can to work and be normal, but Im dying inside. I feel I am losing my wife...this is not what marriage us about. I blame myself. Soon we separate because I cant take it anymore and I cant get her to talk or even spend time with me now...intimacy was out the window long before now. I wonder what she is doing, and why we cant talk but its beginning to not matter. I cant pull her back but Im still in love with her. On this past Christmas eve I text her to say Merry Christmas to you and your parents, but get no reply. So something compels me to turn on tiktok and I see a video of my wife in a car, on her birthday Dec 13th, and some guy says its my baby's birthday today. My heart skipped a beat and I felt dread and anger I cannot describe. So I text her and tell her I caught you in the video with another guy...I promptly get 100% ghosted for 3 weeks...then she texts me. We start talking and I have a plan to try to put it behind but after 4 or 5 days of my wife and I together again he calls her twice after she said he was out of the picture. I blew up on her. I was mad. I had been betrayed. As it stands now we arent talking, no contact. But Im having feelings that I love her and want her back but at the same time I keep reminding myself of what she did. How can I let her go? I should be okay with letting go of someone who was okay with losing me but its so damn hard. Her disorders and her not talking much has made this easier but I keep fighting. What do I do? Sorry this was so long